Ok, I needed a laugh today. You've probably seen this one before, but thought it would make you laugh. Got a better one? Send it to me and we'll see if we can post it! Tye
How Many Christians Does It Take to Change a Light Bulb?
Charismatic: Only 1 - Hands are already in the air.
Pentecostal: 10 - One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
Presbyterians: None - Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
Roman Catholic: None - Candles only. (Of guaranteed origin of course.)
Baptists: At least 15 - One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken.
Episcopalians: 3 - One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks, and one to talk about how much better the old one was.
Mormons: 5 - One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.
Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.
Methodists: Undetermined - Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass.
Nazarene: 6 - One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.
Lutherans: None - Lutherans don't believe in change.
Amish: What's a light bulb?
Being cheerful keeps you healthy.
It is slow death to be gloomy all the time.
It is slow death to be gloomy all the time.
Proverbs 17:22 GNB
1 comment:
A new pastor was visiting homes of parishioners. At one house it seemed obvious that someone was home but no one answered his repeated knocks at the door. He took out a card and wrote Revelation 3:20 on the back and
stuck it in the door.
He found that this card had been returned in the offering the following Sunday. Added to it was a message. Genesis 3:10. He reached for his Bible to check out the citation and broke out in gales of laughter because Revelation 3:20 begins "Behold, I stand at the door and knock" and Genesis 3:10 reads, "I heard your voice in the garden and was
afraid for I was naked".
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